Rewrite:: If Only You Saw Me
by Casi Edii
Summary: This is a rewrite of one of my first FF fic. The Vampire Squall killed his first love in a dangerous battle, but when a person hand lands upon his heart, he fears to break a vow and again fall in love. R
1. Author's Note

**Author's Note:**

This is a remake of my first Final Fantasy fanfic, "If Only You Saw Me."

I loved it. But I feel I rushed it, and I want to improve it.

I hope everyone enjoys reading it, as the people who first read it enjoyed it when I first uploaded it.

Maybe I'll add new twists, I don't know.

_(I'll actually be re-reading, and writing as I go along giggle)_

Nevertheless, Enjoy!

_Casi Edii_

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**Disclaimer**: I do not own Fina Fantasy, or anything of the sort. If I did, I wouldn't be writing fanfics to pass my time. **:D  
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**(Original publishing: 7/10/05 - 8/27/05)**

**Restarted:** 7/1/07 - ?

_Fic is currently_

**In Progress **/ Complete


	2. Prologue: A Promise to a Love

**"If Only You Saw Me"**

**Prologue: The Promise to a Love**

_"...From a Future tense, I feel caressed, By your gentle words, Gentle smile... Gentle death...I'm Sorry..."_

_**---**_

Blood spilled from open wounds, and fell upon the dying grass of the plains. The echo of swords crashing against each other rang in the air. The sun was rising. The war between Vampires and Mortals was to claim the land of Balamb, and it was growing deadly. As the sky grew pink, the Vampires would have to retreat against their own wishes.

Squall lunged his sword into the chest of a mortal, mouth opened in a raged yell, fangs dripping with fresh blood from a previous kill, "Die filthy mortal!"

"Squall! Squall, the sun is rising, Sir! We have to retreat!"

Squall watched the mortal grow limp at his feet, the life leaving it's blood drenched body. "We wont stop.." he said in a whisper to himself, and to the person who spoke. He turned, to look deep within the eyes of Sephiroth who continued to run towards him, "I said.. we wont stop until this is over. The sun is not up yet! We wont stop until every mortal lay within our grasp!"

Sephiroth stopped and knew he couldn't argue. He merely watched as Squall's eyes grew dark with rage. "Sir, I cannot stay," Sephiroth said, fear ringing in his voice, "I must retreat."

"Fool!" Squall yelled, but Sephiroth had turned already to flee.

Squall cursed under his breath, and stared at his feet. His heart was fit to win, he was at his physical peak, as no other vampire would reach. He will not give up so easily. It was then, with this thought, he perked the senses of his hearing to catch the sound of feet crunching dead grass behind him. He turned swiftly, sword raised as he heard the bones of the mortal snap beneath his blade. The blood gushed, and covered his eyes. He gave a hiss, and closed them, but licked his lips in victory. "I wont leave with a mortal alive..." he whispered to himself, just as a body bumped behind him. He spun again, and again, lunged his sword forward. He could hear the chest snap from who ever he stabbed. He didn't bother open his eyes as he heard the scream of his victim. But the scream wasn't of a man, but a woman. _Women.. fight mortal battles now?_

He opened opened his eyes slightly. Through blood stained eye sight, he looked into the eyes of the woman he loved. "Joia..." he choked.

Joia stared into Squall's suddenly frightened eyes. She tried to smile, but couldn't. Her body gave a sway, and her hair fell over her face as her expression changed from loving, to pained, to weak and dying. Her knees shook, and the cold emptiness began to fill her body. It was then her knees gave way, and Squall caught her before she landed on the ground. "Joia..." he choked again, tears building in his eyes.

The sun began to peak now just over the hills of Balamb. Sephiroth knew then that he couldn't retreat, and turned to pull Squall from battle. "Squall, Sir, please! Don't be stubborn! Let's retreat to the manor!" he yelled over the shouts of other vampires retreating themselves in their own directions. Yet, Sephiroth only saw Squall slauched over in the center of the plains, holding someone. With quick stride, he stood before Squall, taking in a feared breath. "Squall...oh dear...Oh Squall I'm dreadfully sorry."

Squalled neither lifted his head nor eyes to look at Sephiroth. His eyes were transfixed upon Joia's, "I...I..." yet, he couldn't get a word out.

Sephiroth placed a hand upon his shoulder, and closed his eyes. "Squall the sun is rising, let the mortals deal with her bod-"

"I wont leave her!" Squall yelled, lifting his head to bare angry fangs towards Sephiroth. The sun grew closer. Sephiroth covered his forhead as his hand began to peel and bleed from contact with sunlight, "Squall, please, don't be stubborn! We must leave! We have no choice!"

Sephiroth could not wait any longer. He turned for his own sake, and ran for the dark shelter he knew as safety. Squall hissed angrily, and looked back at Joia. He moved the silk black hair from her sweat, blood stained face. Breath was still passing from her lips. He had a chance. He lifted her body in his arms, blocking her from the light from the sun. It grazed his back, and however he hiss, he ran ahead after Sephiroth.

(Later...)

Squall kept his head lowered. His shirt was removed, letting the trickles of blood drip down from the large burn upon his back. It caused him no pain, no matter the size. The dark colored room was lightless, except for one candle on a side table. On a soft satin quilt on the floor before Squall's feet was Joia's body. He didn't flinch as the large doors opened, and in walked Sephiroth, "It's useless.." Sephiroth said quietly, holding a damp cloth in his hand, which held a fresh scar, "She isn't reacting... towards anything. She's going to die, Squall."

As Sephiroth pressed the damp cloth to Squall's wounded back, and stopped as Squall faced him, "Leave me, Sephiroth." He said in a hurt voice.

Sephiroth nodded, deciding what was best was time alone from his leader. He dropped the towel upon the side table, and turned to leave. He glanced back once, just as Squall did, and their eyes met, and locked, just before Sephiroth closed the door. Squall let a sigh escape his lips, and his saddened eyes turned back to Joia. Her breathing grew scarce. "Joia.." he spoke to his love, "Joia forgive me.. I'm sorry.. if..only I looked.. If only I saw you.."

He dropped to his knees, and lifted her body to his chest. He pressed his face to her hair, taking in her scent. It didn't smell like roses any more. It smelled of steel, grass, blood and fear. All his fault. "Joia...please.." but she didn't comply. As he begged, Joia's body let out a final breath. He began to sob, widly. His eyes dropped large tears into her silk hair, "No..." he cried, squeezing his eyes shut, "No...no.. no...!"

_----July 10th during the year 1812 Joia Heartilly died within the grasp of her lover, the vampire Squall Leonhart. That day, Squall placed her body in a tomb, with a blooming black rose upon her chest. He made a silent vow, to never fall in love with another woman. His heart was hers. Her death was his and his causing. Causing his love a painful death was just the beginning of his punishment. When he left that room that day, he slit his wrist and sat on her bed. Of course he knew he wasnt going to die, but he will sleep forever._

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**20 Years Before Present day**

"Push Joan!" yelled the doctor.

Joan Heartille screamed in pain as she laid in labor. It had been six hours now, and yet there was no baby. "Push, Joan. You need to push!"

She yelled again, screaming in pain as the child she wanted to push out wouldn't give a budge. She stared at the ceiling as her body grew weak. "Get water!" the doctor screamed, "Now! Don't be stupid, get it!"

Joan didn't hear this. Her eyes closed, and she was steadily falling into darkness. She groaned in pain as the doctor's struggled to stable her.

_"Joan..."_ Joan turned her head slightly, and fluttered her eyes open. _"Joan... Joan wake up.."_

She did, as who ever spoke demanded so gently. As her vision cam clear, she was staring at the figure of a beautiful woman, who placed a hand on her belly. The woman smiled softly at her, _"Joan.."_ the woman said,_ "Joan.. your baby girl will be just fine."_

That's when the woman tipped her head forward. Joan's eyes went wide as the woman began to disappear into her belly. "Uh.." she tried to speak, however, suddenly, the pain eased away. As she finally could fully focus upon the hospital room, she saw the smile upon the doctor's face. In his arms was a little bundle, and he whispered, "Joan, say hello to your baby girl."

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**A/N: Well. First rewritten chapter. I think I did fairly well. :) I'll only need the input from everyone...? You can read the first "If only you saw me" if you want to, and I'm sure you know how to find it on your own :P.**


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